Tune In To A Good PMA

It's all been done before, right? Every year we make New Year's Resolutions to lose weight, to quit smoking, to quit drinking, to exercise more, to become robots, essentially. Where's the fun in that? The best way I can think of to improve your life is just do it. So now the $64,000 question is, how do you do it? I teach for the University of Phoenix online, a job I started just months before the bottom fell out of the economy, so I'm feeling pretty good about life just about now. Sure, I've got bills that need to be paid, taxes that need to be filed, kids that need to have their dance recital costumes paid for by the end of this week, so it's not like I don't have things on my plate. Yet, despite it all, I'm feeling pretty good right now. How? OK. I'll tell ya. It's called PMA.

No, that's not a typo. I didn't mean to type PMS. In fact, a PMA is about as far away from PMS as you can get. It stands for Positive Mental Attitude.

 Now I'll bet that a lot of you right now are saying, "Oh man! He's gonna blow sunshine out my....." pick your body part. Let me assure you that you're wrong. See! How could I be blowing sunshine where the sun doesn't shine and at the same time tell you that you, the esteemed readers, are wrong? I rest my case.

I am going to teach you a few things, though, and in the end I'm willing to bet my Google Adsense Revenues that you'll agree that life will, indeed, be better if you've got a Positive Mental Attitude.

Try this sometime. If you're reading this late at night (as I write this, it's approaching 1 a.m., so if you're among my first readers, you can try this in the morning) when you get up, I want you to look yourself in the mirror. If the mirror doesn't crack from shock, as mine does, I want you to look yourself in the mirror. That's right ladies, you haven't got any makeup on yet, you haven't taken a shower, your hair looks like it should be in a picture next to the definition of a Bad Hair Day in the dictionary. Generally speaking, you're feeling pretty lousy (and that goes for you too guys! You haven't shaved, your gut is hanging over your boxers - hence your resolution to lose a few pounds - and you, too, are a scrug who has yet to hit the showers!)

So you're back to the mirror, and you're thinking you couldn't possibly look or feel any worse than you do right now. Here's what I want you to say:

"I FEEL GREAT! I FEEL AWESOME! I AM INCREDIBLE! IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!"

Even if you don't feel great when you're standing there looking at yourself in the mirror, I promise you this - once you have said what I just told you to say, you will, in fact, feel better than when you first stepped into the bathroom. (Now you are free to jump into the shower and start singing along to the radio; I'm thinking BTO, playing Takin' Care of Business....that's a great sing along in the shower tune).

Now that you've gotten yourself all nice and clean, go back to the mirror and repeat what I told you to say before. This time, I promise, you'll actually believe it when you say it.

....Have you ever heard the expression, whether you think you can, or you think you can't, chances are you're right. Think about it! You're a Major League Baseball Player, and there's two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning. You haven't had a hit all day, and you walk up to the plate thinking, "Man, this sucks. I'm 0-4 and I'm about to face the best closer in the league. There's no way I'm going to hit this guy." Do you see this guy going 1-5? Not a chance. But if that same guy walks up to the plate and says, "That cocky SOB thinks he's got me right where he wants me. I'll show him!" That guy may still strike out to end the game, but he also stands a much better chance of knocking in the game-winning run if he decides to tune in to a positive mental attitude!

So now It's 1:09 a.m., and there's a pretty good chance that my children will be climbing into bed with me and my wife in about 4 to 5 hours, but do you think I'll be having a lousy day tomorrow? If I look myself in the mirror and say, "Jim, you look like crap, BUT I FEEL GREAT! I FEEL AWESOME! AND AFTER I SHOWER, I'LL EVEN SMELL GOOD!" you can bet I'll have a great day.

Have a good one, and while you're at it, have a great year in 2009!